Purpose-driven

As I have just finished my first full-time week of work, I have been doing a lot of thinking about where I want to be in five, ten, twenty years. Whenever I thought about what I wanted to do when I "grew up," I always thought I would want to make enough money that I could always completely support myself with enough extra spending money that I can go to the movies, travel, eat out, and buy gifts without fear of not being able to pay the bills. Other than financially, I thought I would grow to love any job I have, so I never thought about what specifically I want from a job other than a paycheck.

My dad got a call the other day from a former player who proceeded to tell my dad how much he impacted his life and his career path. I cannot count the number of people my dad has positively impacted through his profession, and I am always so thankful that I have had him around my entire life as such a positive role model. Even my mom, who pursued a mathematical profession, has greatly impacted many lives through her career. She helped a not-for-profit organization increase the number of foster parent inquiries by over 1,000% so that kids who would have normally been raised in state orphanages were able to be placed in individual homes instead. Both of my parents sleep easily at night. They know they have made a difference in so many more lives than just mine.

While I enjoy my job, I certainly do not feel as if I am fulfilling some greater purpose or helping humanity. I research, coordinate events and meetings, and do more research. I suppose that is what is expected right after college. I am determined to have a purpose-driven life, so it will be interesting to see how I can manage that suit-clad with a window view. Stay tuned.

Bona Fide Businesswoman

Nothing says "welcome to the adult world" quite like getting your first business card. Nothing has for me anyways. I walked in this morning and a pretty, paisley box was sitting on my desk full of my business cards. Even the cards are pretty! My name is spelled correctly, it has the number for my direct line with my personal voicemail, and my own work email address. It's amazing how one little card can make you feel so bona fide!

The other night a friend of mine told me I should always carry a business card on me when I go out. I initially thought I wouldn't because I always find it annoying when someone tries to sell me something, or themselves, when I'm trying to enjoy myself. I like to keep work and play separate. After seeing these cards, I have changed my mind. Networking, here I come!

Exhilaratingly Terrifying

My mom has recently become a fan of blogs. She repeatedly sent me the daily posts of one in particular, until I finally signed up for it myself. The blog is called Chookaloonks, and today it gave me some inspiration. The author of the blog points out that the best ideas are always exhilaratingly terrifying. I think she's right.

Every great decision I have ever made is a little bit scary. Maybe that's why I haven't been too eager to graduate; it's scary! Maybe that's why I rarely let people see the real me; vulnerablility is scary! From today on, I will be more open, seek risks and uncertainties, and do it all with the knowledge that the best decisions come from having the courage to put your head up, fake confidence if necessary, and dive headfirst.

Bring it on, graduation!

The End of the Beginning

I graduate in 9 days. All of my friends have been counting down since December. Just typing the sentence saying I graduate next week makes me want to cry. I can't tell you how many times I have said the words, "I don't want to talk about it," whenever someone brings up graduation.

I think something may seriously be wrong with me. For my high school graduation, everyone was sad and somewhat scared to leave. I didn't even care if I walked. I was so ready to start college and the next chapter of my life. Now, when everyone is so excited to graduate, I want to absolutely refuse to do so. It got so bad a few weeks ago that I actually took the time to see what would happen if I did not complete another assignment in any of my classes. Turns out not even that would keep me another semester.

All of my life I have loved being a student and learning new things. I still get excited to call my parents and tell them about my classes and lectures! I love, I mean love, buying new school supplies every August and December to prepare for the upcoming semester. I love sitting on the front row. I love looking back on all of my notebooks from previous semesters filled with notes, doodles, and memories. I even love cramming for exams until the wee hours of the morning.

It seems this is the end of the beginning of my life. Boy, it has been a good one. If I happen to see you at graduation with tears streaming down my face, don't be alarmed. It's 21 years in the making.